Stereotypes

Before I continue with my life story as a single father, I would like to address all the stereotypical things I have run into. I will probably leave something out and if I do, feel free to add to it.

When Anthony was in his first year, I went to get W.I.C. and actually got laughed at by one of the workers there and by a couple of the mothers that were there applying for their children. The comments were things like, "this is for Women with Infant Children, what is he doing here," and laughs followed by, "he doesn't look like a woman."

I then headed over to get state funding for things such as food stamps, daycare assistance, medicaid, and child support. I will get to child support in the next paragraph. As far as daycare assistance, that went off without a hitch, but getting food stamps and medicaid proved more difficult. I had to apply three times in North Carolina before receiving either one. I was given the excuse the first time that I wasn't a single mother and shouldn't need the assistance. The second time I was denied stating that I just needed to work more hours (it was midterms and I had dropped to 30 hours a week instead of 40 until they were over). Finally, the third time, I was approved for Anthony to have medicaid, but I was denied for myself even though my employer didn't offer medical insurance. I was denied food stamps all three times.

As for child support, I had to fill out a questionaire that was full of comments that catered to a woman. There were a lot of questions asking about the absent "father" and it seemed as though every question wanted to know something about the paternal parent. When I asked why it didn't say absent parent, I was told by the workers in North Carolina that fathers didn't get custody and was told to cross out everywhere it said father and put mother or maternal. That added up to around 25 places in the paperwork. In my opinion, that is sexual prejudice or at least some type of discrimination.

Oh yeah, don't even get me started on the subject of racial inequality. I was told several times that because I was a white male I shouldn't need help and minority mothers were always given first priority as an "unwritten rule".

I probably could have sued for some of the comments, but I just am not that type of person and I realize that there are people and government establishments that are just plain ignorant.

I would really like to hear any of your horror stories with trying to get state or federal assistance as a single father or single parent.